On Another World
by KuraiArcoiris
Summary: The strawhats have different lives on other worlds. Would you like to see? A response to Aoihand's multiverse prompt, one drabble at a time.
1. Here There be Dragons

What if Nami was a dragon tamer and the crew were dragons…

Brook lifted up his bony head to watch as his red haired mistress. Nami whistled and pointed, and the medium-sized yellow long legged dragon followed her directions. He made a perfect star in the sky with his trailing flame.

"Good job, Sanji, you can come down now!" yelled Nami. Sanji twisted in an impossible way and landed next to Nami with a flourish. She gave his snout a huge hug. "You'll win the agility competition with no problems!"

Sanji spewed heart shaped smoke. The old dragon wondered what the red haired girl would think of the yellow dragon's crush. It had been many centuries since the last human was claimed by a dragon. The rituals involved usually pained the chosen human too much as they changed her or him into a dragon for a dragon in love to endure. A dragon in heat was another matter entirely. Of course, the humans barely ever cooperated since they viewed dragons as nothing more than beasts and hardly ever wanted to turn into one.

"Zoro, get over here!" yelled Nami. The lithe green dragon puffed but didn't move. Their mistress kissed her green bead on her wrist, and the green dragon shivered. Brook could sympathize with the itchy pain under the scales that would persist until the order was obeyed, or rather he would if he had scales, which skull dragons do not. Skull joke, yohohoho!

At last, the green dragon landed in front of Nami.

"Slice that rock fifty neat pieces," commanded Nami, pointing and gesturing to the rock with specific hand signals. The hand signals were unnecessary, but the humans thought that they helped the dragons complete commands. Zoro puffed again, but Sanji whipped out his tail. Before another fight could ensue, however, Nami licked both the green and yellow beads. The two dragons froze. "Don't make me do it again, Zoro!"

Without even puffing this time, Zoro went to the rock and sliced. Fifty square pieces fell neatly into place.

"That's perfect," said Nami, almost twirling. She smiled at her bead bracelet and started to cuddle it. "I'm so glad I spent the extra money on the extra sensitive one. We'll make Zoro win the Tamer Battle Royale, won't me my little green bead."

Not even bothering to blow smoke at the girl as he normally did, the green dragon curled up at the bottom of the stack of rock pieces and took a nap. The new bead must be very powerful for Zoro not to challenge Nami again.

"Now to try it out on the others," said Nami. "Usopp! Chopper! Luffy!"

Almost as one the three youngest dragons appeared from their respective perches. He almost felt sorry for the young ones. They had never lived freely, since Nami had had them since birth. The youngest, the tiny brown dragon, was only four. The red stretch dragon and the black night dragon were both the same age, seven, though the red, Luffy, always seemed the oldest of the three.

The trio descended in front of Nami, with the tiny brown, Chopper, landing across her shoulders. She smiled at the three. In all honesty, the girl did seem to have a soft spot for the younger ones.

"I need you guys to practice, okay?" she said, stroking their snouts. "Luffy, you practice your flight finishes. Remember to stretch your neck past the finish line, just in case, and you'll be king of the Dragon race!"

The red flapped his wings in anticipation.

"And Usopp, you practice hitting those blocks Zoro cut. I want to see a perfect checker pattern, got it. We have to win that markfire contest."

The black nodded slowly and a little timidly.

"Chopper, you go use our stupid claw cutter as a guinea pig for your healing fire. You have to be in top form to beat those other healing dragons in the Fix-em-up."

The brown chirped and rubbed her cheek.

"That leaves me Brook to deal with. Get to it."

The three young dragons flew to do their respective tasks.

"Brook! Get up here!"

Shaking his head a bit, Brook flew towards his mistress. Even if he had no scales to make itch, a binding bead might make his bones ache or something equally unpleasant.

"Now listen, and listen good. I am not losing the music making contest to that stupid blue, Franky, even if Robin-nee is his tamer. You're a skull dragon, and you're naturally musical, so you're gonna win. Do you understand me," said the girl. Brook nodded. He knew that as her latest dragon, she didn't know how to handle him fully yet. If she had, she would have known that Brook would not give her any major trouble. The old dragon had been extrememly lonely before the young red had crashed into his home during a flight path practice. The skull dragon had been happy to be with other dragons again, and would thank this girl by performing to the best of his abilities. It didn't hurt that he loved to show off, anyway.

Hovering in the air per the red head's instructions, Brook began to use his claws to strike his rib cage in a very specific beat. Soon, a beautiful music filled the air, and Nami began to smile widely.

"Alright!" yelled Nami, jumping up and down. "We'll win a Draco Iconis for sure. I can't wait. What I could do with 500,000,000 dracs! Ah~! I get excited just thinking about it! I got the best group of dragons ever!"


	2. It's a Wild World

What if Chopper was human and the rest of the crew were animals…

Putting away his notes for the day, the brown haired child stretched and headed towards the kitchen for dinner. He nearly fell when he tripped over something. The something grunted.

"Zoro?" whispered Chopper. The boy watched as the bear's belly went up and down. Carefully, he poked it. The bear twitched. Chopper poked it again, and this time the bear growled. With an eep, the boy dashed to the upper deck.

Peeping from beside the mast, the boy nearly missed the fox that jumped on his shoulder.

"Robin!" said Chopper. "Zoro's downstairs asleep again."

The fox yipped, and Chopper shook at the resulting growl. Soon the bear stumbled up the steps swatting a fox tail that was sprouting on his nose. Zoro glared at the fox who yipped. The fox tail disappeared, and the bear huffed.

A high pitched chitter noise made Chopper jump. A weasel, a stoat to be specific, hurried past and bit the bear. Growling, the bear made no resistance as the stoat tugged him towards the kitchen a bit, before the stoat chattered at the fox.

"What's Nami want?" asked Chopper. Robin pointed up with her snout. "Oh, that."

The boy climbed half-way up to the crow's nest. Looking at the rope, Chopper smiled. There were advantages to most animals not being able to tell time. The child threw himself at the rope and rang the bell. "Franky! Usopp! Brook! Dinner time!"

A skeleton of a bat soared down from the crow's nest into the kitchen. The bear squeezed through the door, and Chopper flipped off the rope and landed in the doorway.

A bark drew Chopper's attention to his feet. A long nosed dog smiled up at him.

"You hungry, Usopp?" said Chopper.

A beaver chattered next to the dog.

"Oh, you've been with Franky then?" asked Chopper. The dog barked, but scrambled back as the skeletal bat flew in its face.

"Brook!" cried Chopper. The boy shared the dog's residual fear of the bat, even though they both really liked Brook. A black kangaroo flew right between the dog and boy. An otter squealed angrily, before hearts appeared in its eyes as it squealed at the fox on Chopper's shoulder. Chopper sweatdropped, wondering how any animal could be so interested in every female of any animal species.

The black kangaroo stretched his arms and tried to pass the otter, but the otter kicked him out of the room again.

"Sanji! Luffy! Stop fighting!" yelled Chopper. A tail softly tapped his cheek and the boy looked at the fox, who shook its head. The otter deftly spun and landed on the kitchen counter, where it had several plates of food lined up. Chopper grinned and went to get his own plate. The otter snapped at his hand, and then looked with hearts in his eyes at the fox and the stoat in turn. The two females got their food first.

While he waited, the young boy began to think on his situation. Even being daily on this strange ship, Chopper still didn't know what the animals were saying all the time. Animals ruled the world, but humans often failed to divine all their orders. Thankfully, Chopper could turn into a reindeer and walk among them, but the deer deer fruit, like all other animal types, didn't give the ability to speak and understand animals, but Chopper was determined to learn their language all by himself. Ever since the kangaroo, the strange-but-true captain of this ship, had taken a shine to his veterinarian skills, Chopper had been on board fulfilling his dream of curing all diseases, animal or human.

Sometimes though, Chopper thought as he finally got his plate without being snapped at by the otter, the thought of understanding animal speech sounded a whole lot cooler than becoming the best doctor ever.


	3. Two of Many Kinds

What if everyone was twins…

"GET OUT OF OUR KITCHEN, YOU IDIOTS!"

"But Sanji…" started Luffy.

"…Jisan…" wined Ruffy.

"…we're hungry!" the two said in unison. Sanji scowled, and Jisan slammed closed the kitchen door. Ruffy pouted.

"What're we going to do now?" said Ruffy. Luffy grinned at his twin, who slowly grinned back.

"What're you two up to?" asked Nami.

"We're going to get some help!" the two said in unison. Nami shook her head and almost felt pity for the two cooks. Thankfully, the two blondes rarely separated, much like the two co-captains. Nami and her twin, Mina, however, enjoyed their time apart. The other red head was likely working in the mikan trees.

"Nami-swan!" cried Jisan jumping out of the kitchen. "I just finished making these lovely tarts just for you~"

"Step off!" said Sanji, before smiling and presenting his own tray of treats. "Nami-swan would prefer my mochi, wouldn't you, Nami-swan~?"

"I'm not much of a mochi or tart person, but I'm sure Mina would love some," said Nami.

"Oh, Mina-swan," the two blondes said in unison before glaring at each other. "Don't you dare get in my way, moron!"

"Mina-swan will pick my tarts over your stupid mochi!"

"No, ##! She'll pick my mochi over your tarts!"

"We'll see about that!" yelled Jisan, and the two began to race toward the mikan trees.

"That's for calling me fat last week," Nami said as she stuck out her tongue in the direction of her twin.

"That's not nice," said Sparrow, startling Nami as she appeared out of the woodwork.

"Do you need something, Sparrow?" asked Nami, using her innocent grin.

"I was just taking a little walk around the ship," said the tall brunette.

"Where's Robin?" asked Nami. She preferred the limbs sprouting twin to the one who could walk in walls. The Path Path fruit was scary.

"Downstairs reading. She found a fairly interesting book about alternate dimensions."

"That does sound interesting. I think I'll go take a look."

Sparrow nodded and followed Nami with her eyes. Nami hurried to the deck where Zoro was taking a nap while his twin, Raz lifted weights. The two twins were the scariest swordsmen she had ever met, but they scared her less than Sparrow in one of her creepy moods.

"Come on, Usopp!" Luffy said, pulling one arm of the tan sniper.

"You gotta help us!" said Ruffy, pulling the other.

"Why can't you ask Sogeking?!" Usopp protested. "I'm not ready to die!"

"Did someone call me?" asked Sogeking, leaping from the last step of crow nest ladder and taking his standard (ridiculous) pose.

"Sogeking, we're hungry!" said Ruffy. The masked sniper began to look uneasy.

"Oh, well, I'm sure Usopp can help you then," said Sogeking, slowly backing away from his twin and the two co-captains.

"N-niichan! Don't leave me here!"

"You are a true brave warrior of the sea," said Sogeking before disappearing to the lower decks. Nami decided to take pity on Usopp today.

"What're you two doing with Usopp?"

"We want meat…," said Luffy.

"…and Usopp's resourceful," said Ruffy.

"Re-what-ful?" Luffy asked his twin. Ruffy shrugged.

"Robin said it. I think it means he can help us get meat."

"Meat~!" yelled Luffy pumping his hands into the air.

"Meat~!" echoed Ruffy. Apparently he had been using his devil fruit power because Usopp was still stuck to him like a mouse in a sticky trap.

"Oi! You're making too much noise!" yelled Mina. Nami watched as her twin hit the two with her Curre-Rod. Usopp had made her the forked rod to match Nami's Clima-tact, but Mina's dealt with water currents instead of weather. Together, the two red heads could work up quite a storm. "Let go of Usopp right this instant, Ruffy!"

Nursing the bumps on his head, Ruffy released his Glue Glue fruit power, and the long-nose liar quickly scrambled away.

"There you are, Usopp," said Max. The cyborg made his way over to the sniper. "Franky and me were wondering if you could help us with something down stai-"

The sniper had dashed past him and was already halfway down the stairs.

"Wait for me, long nose-bro!"

"Now where are we going to get help?" wined Ruffy.

"Just wait until dinner! You'll get to eat with the rest of us," said Mina, as she moved towards the map room.

"Mina! Mina!" came a synchronized chanting. The tiny human-like reindeer and his reindeer-like parrot ran onto the deck.

"What is it Chopper, Jet?"

"We just got your results!" squealed Chopper.

"Results. Results," squawked Jet. Nami still felt uneasy at the sight of Chopper's twin. A cute fuzzy reindeer child and a strange furry bird were two very different things. Jet could turn into any bird, thanks to the Bird Bird fruit, but the bird would always look furry. He favored his parrot form because he couldn't talk like his brother, so instead he communicated by parroting whatever the young doctor said.

"What results?" asked Nami.

"Didn't Mina tell you?" asked Chopper.

"The results, Chopper," said Mina, tapping her foot.

"You'll be fine. The sickness's all gone now!"

"What sickness?" demanded Nami.

"Um…the sickness you had Nami…Mina got it too, but she had mutated strain. It was weaker but more persistent. I've been trying to cure her of it completely."

"But…," said Nami. "It wouldn't have killed her, right?"

Chopper refused to look at her. Trembling, Nami turned towards her twin and knocked her on the head.

"Did I hear you correctly, my little reindeer friend?" said Brook as he neared the group. "Is our friend Mina healed?"

"You knew about this too, Brook?" demanded Nami.

"To a certain extent," the skeleton replied. He was the only one on board who didn't have a twin, as his had died many years ago with his body. Every once in a while, when the skeletal swordsman was in melancholy mood, Usopp would ask Brook to tell them tales of the wonderful cellist, Creek, and the beautiful duos the two musical twins made. "Didn't Miss Mina tell you?"

"No," Nami said, trying to keep the sniffle out of her voice.

"Don't be that way, Nami," said Mina, putting an arm around her sister. "I just didn't want to worry you."

"Worry me next time!" said Nami. "What if you had died and left me knowing that my own sister didn't tell me she was sick?! Don't ever do that again."

"Again, again!" echoed Jet.

"Alright," said Mina. "Never again."


	4. Devil's Choice

What if the devil fruit users weren't DF users and the normal people were DF users…

Robin barely twitched as she heard the explosion rock the ship, but the following yell caught her attention.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to experiment near Chopper, Franky!"

"What did Franky do this time, Usopp?" asked Robin. A gust of air turned solid next to her. The wind wind devil fruit user was literally shaking in his boots.

"He hit Chopper with his new canon," said the sniper, shivering behind her chair. The old female doctor was very protective of her pet reindeer, which was part of the reason she joined. She herself wanted nothing to do with pirates, but the reindeer had grown so attached to Luffy, and the female doctor had not wanted to part with Chopper, so she had joined the strawhats to keep an eye on him. "Doctorine's gonna kill him."

"And you have nothing to do with this, long nose-kun?"

"Not this time," he said in an urgent whisper. "But she's going to think I did anyway. She's going to b-bottle me in a j-jar like last time."

"Now, now. If it was our dear shipwright's fault, then I'm sure Doctorine won't punish you for it."

"There you are, Usopp," said Nami as she blurred in. The temp temp fruit user could change the temperature of anything, though she preferred the air. With the clima-tact Usopp made for her, she could make almost any sort of weather. "Have you seen Luffy?"

"Why are you looking for me if you want to find Luffy?" asked Usopp. "He's probably swimming alongside the ship."

"I believe I did see our captain out the window," agreed Robin.

"That idiot! That's why we have a pool! We can't force the ship to keep up with him!"

Suddenly, Franky ran into the room and made the wood of the door merge into the wall by growing it. The times times fruit user multiplied the wood a couple more times, just to make sure.

"Doctorine found you," said Robin. She put her finger in her book to save her place, since she probably wasn't going to get any more reading done soon.

"I told her I could make him super again," said Franky, his back against the wall farthest from where the door was. "It was an accident!"

The wall where the door was shook as something powerful banged on the other side. It banged a few more times before stopping.

"Brook! Sanji! Zoro!" came a yell from the other side. Robin watched as Usopp looked at the small library window.

"If you flee now, you will be admitting guilt," said Robin. The sniper swallowed, but stayed solid. She heard muffled instructions and then the whole wall burst. Thankfully, Usopp had grabbed her at the last moment and the debris had gone through them.

"There you are," said the old woman, striding toward Franky and grabbing his ear. "What have I said about testing your weapons anywhere near my reindeer?"

"Not to," said Franky in a near whimper.

"Nami-swan," said Sanji, hopping over to the redhead and then spinning to Robin. "Robin-chwan! I have some snacks in the kitchen prepared for you~!"

"Stupid love-cook, your ears are showing," said Zoro. Robin held back a chuckle. In the middle of his sentence, the cook had transformed into his half bunny self, which happened quite often when he began to flirt.

"Who asked you, turf head!" yelled Sanji, bringing a hard kick to the swordsman's head, who dodged by bending back at a far angle. The poise poise fruit user grinned as the cook flew over him. He readjusted his center of balance and stood straight again. Robin often wondered what it was like never to lose one's balance.

"Oh, my," said Brook. "He really got you there."

Robin smiled at the older man. In all honesty, he shouldn't still be alive, but one of his old nakama had the sleep sleep fruit, which could put anyone into a restorative, coma-like sleep for years. So when the rest of the crew had died from the sickness, Brook's friend used his power to put Brook into a safe sleep until someone could find and cure him, which the strawhats did many, many years later.

"Sanji, meat!" cried Luffy as he crawled in the window.

"How'd you get in through there!?" exclaimed Nami. "It's three stories up from the ocean!"

"I don't know," said Luffy casually. "Sanji, I'm hungry!"

A kick sent Luffy into the wall.

"Good. Now stay there," said Sanji, as he put a cigarette in his mouth.

"Smoking's not good for bunny rabbits," said Zoro casually as he exited the room.

"Marimo!"


	5. Strange Sort of Siblings

What if two nakama met before their captain wore a straw hat…

Robin never wondered about her place in the crew. An apprentice meant nothing but a gopher. And so when the captain commanded her to take food to their prisoner, she grabbed the tray of slop and made her way down to the brig. She had heard of the prisoner. They had captured the woman in the East Blue, the pirates boasted. The only reason she still lived was a brilliant idea of the captain, who had a long standing rivalry with another pirate. This pirate had picked up a sniper on a certain island days before the captain's own arrival to the small island. To spite the other pirate, the captain had stolen the wife of the sniper, planning to use her as a hostage next time the two crews faced each other. Of course, matters had complicated themselves when the crew realized the woman was pregnant. The woman wasn't overly beautiful, but the lust-starved crew had already taken turns spending the night with her. A fact that the crew took no effort to hide from the female ten-year-old apprentice's ears.

Without the certain knowledge of whose child it was, the woman was left to come to term. Currently, the crew was placing bets on the parentage as well as the gender of the child, though the baby would not come for three more months. And so the job had fallen to Robin, now that the woman was off-limits to the rest of the crew, to feed the pregnant prisoner.

"Hello," said the woman, startling the Robin as the girl put the food at the entrance of the door. The smile beneath the long nose brightened the whole room.

"Hello," the girl whispered. Robin quickly left.

The order came again, and the girl brought the food down again. The woman took the tray with a smile.

"What's your name, little one?"

"Robin."

"Robin? That's a strange name. Mine's Banchina."

"What's so strange about my name?"

"Nothing really," the woman said continuing to smile. "Robins are not normally caged birds is all."

Feeling uneasy, Robin left.

* * *

Curiosity plagued her, so when she returned the next day, Robin asked, "Aren't you the one who's caged?"

"There are different sorts of cages, child. Are you going to bring me my food until my baby's born?"

"Uh-huh," Robin answered. She watched, reluctant to leave the woman as she began to eat the slop. The girl sat down. "Do you like it?"

"Not really," Banchina answered. The smile brightened. "But it's better than nothing. And the company's better than before."

"How can you smile?" asked Robin, the words pouring out, as always, before she could stop them.

"Because," the woman said. "I have a secret."

"A secret?"

"Yes. Maybe I'll tell you tomorrow."

* * *

"I got the chef to give me some bread and cheese this time," lied Robin. She had taken it from the kitchen when the cook was not looking. Honestly, the man would never realize the morsels had disappeared.

"Thank you," said Banchina, her usual smile in place. "You remind me of my husband."

"Your husband…?"

"I know. It's weird for a little girl to remind me of my husband, but you have his kind of heart. Or maybe, it's more that no one else on this ship does."

"No I don't," said Robin, looking anywhere but the kind woman's face. "I'm a demon child. I shouldn't exist."

"You don't look much like a demon to me," said Banchina. Closing her eyes, Robin focused on multiplying her arms, retrieving the tray without asking the woman's assistance. A giggle filled the room.

"My, that's a neat trick." The woman still had on her smile. "Did you eat a devil fruit at some point?"

"Y-yes…"

"You're a very special young lady."

Robin blinked and almost smiled at the words.

* * *

The boat rocked. The marine boat sent out a new volley, causing new waves.

"Ooh…! Save me! It's marine headquarters!" yelled the captain. Robin peered at the commotion from behind the door frame.

"Captain!" one of the men yelled.

"Where's Robin? Hand her over! It's because she's on board! Robin, that plague brat!"

Before the last word sounded, Robin ran down the steps, into the belly of the ship. She was no longer safe here, but she had to get to Banchina before escaping. Robin would take the woman with her.

"Hello, Robin," said Banchina, smiling at her as always.

"We have to get out of here! Marine's are going to sink the ship!"

"I heard," the woman said. "But I cannot make it."

"You have to! Please, Banchina-san! Come with me!"

"I can't," she said, reaching out to touch Robin's cheek. "I'm too ill to go anywhere."

"But you have to!" yelled Robin, tears streaking down her face. "You have to!"

Banchina shook her head, the smile firm on her face. Reaching behind herself, she took out a small bundle.

"Here, Robin," she said, putting the bundle in Robin's arms. Tears blurred the clear brown eyes, but the hand on Robin's arm conveyed the warmth just as well. "He is why I smile. He's my secret. When these pirates brought me on the ship, I was already pregnant. This is my husband's child, Usopp, and he was already born when you began to bring me food three months ago. I'm glad they gave you that job, Robin. I know you will take very good care of him."

Robin tearily shook her head, but the woman's gaze had already dropped to the bundle.

"I love you," whispered Banchina, placing a kiss on the babe's forehead. "Take care of Robin for me too, when you're old enough. And don't worry. The mute dust will hopefully fade in a few months. That doctor was really kind. You'll be screaming out your lungs in no time. As loud as your father I be-"

"The demon has to be down here somewhere!" a voice cut into the strange farewell. The woman and girl met eyes on last time. Without another word, Banchina kissed Robin's head and pushed the girl towards the door. Breaking eye contact with the only person she trusted in this world, Robin ran towards the lifeboat. Tiny brown eyes met hers as she looked down. Perhaps Banchina would not be the last person she trusted in this world.

* * *

"I found it…," whispered Robin. "A poneglyph."

"Reawy? Whad's id say, 'Bin-nee?" said the small curly-haired tot, brown eyes glittering in excitement. Robin grinned.

"See here? It's talking about the larger islands. Calling them continents…."

* * *

"…and then Gol D. Roger smiled and said, 'I left my treasure in one piece.' Those words marked the beginning of the current age, known as the Golden Age of Pirates."

"Wow," said Usopp. Putting down the history book she had been reading, Robin folded the thin blanket around the small boy. From experience, she could already tell he had a question for her. "Nee-chan…can you teach me to read? I want to read cool stories like you."

"Of course," Robin said. "We'll start tomorrow."

"Really! Cool! Are we going to start with the rock scribbles?"

Robin's shoulders tensed. "Rock scribbles?"

"Uh-huh. The poe-ponef-ponegif! They have the best stories!"

"No, Usopp," she said, using a hard tone she never used on the boy.

"But why not?" Usopp whined.

"Because you can die if you read them."

"D-d-die!" squeaked the boy in utter terror. His eyes filled with tears. "B-but y-you read them nee-chan! I don't want you to die! I-is…is that why everyone wants to kill you?"

Blinking, Robin felt her body freeze. She had never thought the 5 year-old would make the connection so soon. She had assumed the fear was for himself. The boy often started at his own shadow. But he had made the connection fairly fast. A sad smile slipped onto her lips.

"Yes. And I don't want you to get hurt."

"B-but i-if I'm with nee-chan…won't I get hurt?"

The question echoes her very own thoughts, and she wondered if now she would be able to do what she hadn't when the boy was first left in her care.

"Yes. That's why when we get to the next village, we head straight for the orphanage."

"Orphanage!"

"Yes, Usopp. How many times have you had to go without eating because I can't get food? And if that woman had known who I was back when I escaped the pirates, you would have died before you had a chance to live. I should have left you back then…"

"Stop!" yelled Usopp, tears streaming down his face. Robin forced her own tears to stay at bay. "No, nee-chan! You always told me my mom left me with you! You said that she wanted you to take care of me! S-so you can't…!"

"I am not taking care of you," said Robin, forcing all emotion out of her voice. "And so I have to find a different way to take care of you. An orphanage is the best thing."

Usopp grew silent, and Robin watched as his face narrowed from horrified and tearful to a more blank state, as if the boy was reflecting Robin's own face.

"No," he said, his voice barely a whisper. The look of determination that overtook the boy's young face stopped any other words she might have had. "We have to stay together. My mom said I had to take care of you too!"

"Usopp-"

"I'm not leaving you! Never!"

"You can't stay with me! You'll die, Usopp!" cried Robin, emotion leaking into her voice for the first time.

"No I won't!"

"Yes, you will," said Robin. A wetness pricked her vision.

"No I won't! I can't 'cuz I ate the…the Heal Heal fruit! And so whenever anyone tries to kill me, I heal too fast for them to actually kill me!"

"Really," said Robin, a grin blooming beneath tears. "And when did you eat this fruit?"

"Um…in the last village. I saved a magical dolphin from a group of blood-thirsty mosquitoes trying to drain her dry. In return, she gave me the Heal Heal fruit and-"

"I see," said Robin. "And when did you do this?"

"I did it…when you….when you were looking for work!"

"My long nose," said Robin. She kissed him on said feature. "If you're not careful, your nose will grow more."

"B-but I'm not Pinocchio!"

"But if you tell too many lies, no one will be able to believe you, even about not being Pinocchio. Now it's time to go to sleep."

"Ok, nee-chan," he said. He covered his nose with his blanket and unconsciously muffled his voice. "So will you teach me to read? Even politephs?"

"Why do you want to learn them so much? Are the stories that much more interesting?"

"Because…nee-chan's dream's to find the true history…"

"Yes," replied Robin, warily. She didn't remember telling the boy why she tried so hard to find the poneglyphs.

"I want to help nee-chan...Two eyes are better than one, right?"

"You mean two pairs of eyes. And I can make plenty more. Usopp, if you learned to read poneglyphs and people find out, they will hunt you as they hunt me."

"T-they d-don't s-scare me!" said Usopp through shaky lips.

"But they scare me," said Robin. "I don't want to put you in any more danger."

"Nee-chan…" The boy fiddled with his blanket. His eyes shifted down, left, and then right. "…nee-chan, you…you're not lonely…"

"Lonely?" The change of subject surprised Robin, but an answer came out of her mouth before she could completely process the question. "With my long nose beside me?"

Usopp grinned with a blush.

"You should sleep now."

"You're really not lonely, nee-chan?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because nee-chan looks so lonely when she reads the politefs by herself…"

"Hm. So you want to learn so I won't be so lonely, is that it?"

Blushing brighter, the boy nodded.

"Don't worry. If I ever get lonely, I will read it to you. Now sleep."

"Alright," he said, closing his eyes.

"Good night, my long nose."

"Goo' nigh', nee-chan," whispered Usopp. Robin left to try and finish the more complex text she had found in the village's strangely well-stocked library. A whispered in the dark stopped her. "Sti' lunning to wead, tommo' wight?"

Robin smiled at the little boy's persistence.

"Perhaps."

* * *

Small tan hands pushed the basket onto the grocer's counter. The middle-aged man bit back a smile.

"So, big guy, is this all?"

"Yep! It says so on this list," said the small child, holding up a piece of paper with some strange scribbles on it.

"Alright," said the grocer. "That'll be 30 berries."

The boy handed the money over, then took the basket and ran outside. The boy rounded the corner and entered a shadowed alley.

"I got the food nee-chan," said the boy. Robin stepped out of the shadow obscuring her figure.

"Let's see," she said, quickly looking over the foodstuffs in the basket. She nodded in approval. "You're getting better at reading the symbols. Next time, though, don't show anyone the list."

"Eh? How did nee-chan know I showed anyone the list?"

Robin smiled and tapped the corner of her eyes. "I've got eyes everywhere."

"That's not fair," Usopp whined. Robin's smile stretched into a grin.

"You're lucky that man can't read letoglyphs. Even though most people should, since our current alphabet is developed from them and-"

"I know, nee-chan. You already told me. And 'I won't die from learning them.'"

"That's right. Though we don't want anyone to get any ideas, so no showing anyone the letoglyphs. They're not illegal, but it's exceedingly rare to find anyone who can read them. And most who do can have the potential to read poneglyphs too."

* * *

"I want you to help us," said the notorious man known as Crocodile. He turned to face Robin with his wide toothy smile. "I heard that you can read poneglyphs."

"And if I can?" asked Robin. She refused to be cowed by this large man.

"I want you to find something for me. In return, you will become one of my crew."

"I see," Robin said. "Unfortunately, I have come to be mistrustful of pirates."

"Oh? But where else will you go? Pirates will probably be the only ones who would put up with you. And my crew's the only one who actually wants you to read polneglyphs."

"It's an interesting offer," she said. "But I have other obligations."

"Obligations, huh? And what would these obligations be?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Let's just say I am interested enough to take care of them for you."

"If that's the case, I'll put it this way." Robin smirked as her heart hoped she was making the right decision. "Does your crew have a place for two?"

* * *

"Where's that idiot run off to?" yelled Mr. 1.

"Why are you asking me? He disappears all the time," said Miss Doublefinger, calm despite the unusual yelling from her partner. She looked up from her paper and nearly doubled over in laughter. Thankfully, years of practiced calm kept her from doing just that. A snicker slipped out though. "My, Mr. 1, you look sharp today."

The dark man turned an interesting shade of red, and Miss Doublefinger could no longer hold the laughter.

"Let me rephrase. When did you last see Mr. April Fools?"

"Oh, so he was here," she said, as if the bright pink clothes her partner was wearing didn't give it away. "Did he leave a message?"

"Mr. 0 wants me to check on the progress of the Dance Powder and take care of some pirates near the southwest sector."

"And where exactly did he leave this message?" she dared ask. Of course, she dodged the steely strike that shattered her chair, but the picture of her partner's face that tomato red was more than worth the risk.

"If you do not know where to find him, you are no use to me. I will find him on my own."

Holding his head high, Mr. 1 strode out of the café. Miss Doublefinger picked up her paper and considered that next time she should warn Mr. April Fools that neon pink and orange frills clashed terribly.

* * *

"You don't have right to decide our destination!" yelled the strawhat captain after smashing the eternal log post.

"…Really? That's a pity," said Robin, wearing what Usopp often called her creepy smile. "I don't mind a person with great spirit like you, so I will give you another asset that might help you. Please don't smash him."

One of her hands sprouted and pushed Usopp from the spot where he had been hiding. Vivi gasped.

"That's Mr. April Fools!"

"April fools? Who's that?" asked the captain.

"He's Miss All-Sunday's only subordinate and Mr. 0's official messenger."

"Another one?" yelled the red head navigator.

"S-stop!" said Usopp, stepping back as the navigator stepped forward. As usual, the teen was wearing his mask and cape, masking some of his more nervous gestures to the untrained eye. "Nee-chan, what're you doing?"

"You said you would like to be a pirate, so I thought you would like to stay on this ship for a while. Besides, weren't you worried about the princess?"

"Y-yes," the boy replied weakly. "B-but nee-chan-"

"Good. I leave him in your hands, captain-san. Don't let him die," she said, jumping off the ship and onto Bunji. "Let's go, Bunji."

"N-nee-chan, wait!"

"Oh, one more thing," Robin said, using a couple of hidden hands to take off the boy's mask and cape and toss them towards her, revealing his pale and flushed face, the result of too many years behind that mask. "We don't want anyone to know who you are. Stay safe, Usopp."

"Usopp?" said strawhat captain. "I thought you were Mr. April Fools."

"That's a codename, you idiot!" yelled the navigator.

Robin smiled to herself as Bunji moved away from the ship. Usopp would benefit from spending time with such people. He had been spying on them with rather longing eyes from the instant they had arrived at Whiskey Peak. They seemed trustworthy enough people, so he should be safe for the time being despite their rather perilous situation. And of course Robin would be keeping an eye on him, just in case.

* * *

A/N This doesn't count as a drabble does it... Well, I hope you enjoy it anyway.


	6. Down with the Government

What if the strawhats lived under a tyrannical government…

For the fiftieth time that day, Zoro glared at the clock. If he could get his hands on anything sharp…but he had been banned from anything sharper than a spoon. _They_ didn't want a repeat of last time. Of course, if they knew who exactly he was, they probably wouldn't even allow him that.

Finally, the evil contraption dinged three times. The screeching children hushed as Zoro turned his glare towards them. The door opened, and the principal's assistant entered. Sanji's eyes rolled casually over the waiting children's heads before meeting Zoro's glare with his own.

"The principal is ready to see you," said the blonde somewhere beneath a growl. Zoro grunted and stood up from his slouch. He entered the office.

"Nice to see you again, Zoro-kun," said the black haired man from under his orange hat. Zoro grumbled something close to a response before turning to the other chair. In it sat the reason that Zoro had to wait nearly an hour.

"Zoro!" said Luffy. He threw himself at Zoro, but the ticked man scooted out of the way. The boy crashed into the door.

"Before you ask," said the principal, "he refused to salute Spandam during authority training."

"What do you want me to do about it?" asked Zoro.

"Nothing really," said the principal. "I just had to call you in and tell you, else it would look bad. Just say you won't give him dinner tonight or something, and we're done."

"Why the heck did you have me wait outside an hour then!?!" yelled Zoro.

"Appearances. Besides, I wanted to take some time to catch up with my little brother."

"Yeah, Ace was telling me how he really works for Whitebeard and is planning to take down the government," said Luffy. "It sounds so cool! We should try to take down the government too!"

"Idiot!" barked Zoro, slamming a fist into his charge's head. "Don't say stupid things out loud!"

"But Zoro…I don't want to be a footstool…."

"Government gopher. The government doesn't care what you want," said Zoro plainly.

"That's why we should get rid of it!" said Luffy. Zoro ignored the unexpected logic in the boy's words and grabbed Luffy by the cheek. The orphanage worker had seen enough to resist the appeal of suicidal ideas. Never again, not after Kuina and…no he wasn't going think about them.

"Next time, call us on a Thursday," said Zoro, dragging the boy out. "Then it'd be that idiot Franky's problem."

A snore answered Zoro, and the man grumbled something vulgar about narcoleptics. He dragged the slightly struggling Luffy all the way to the orphanage, made longer by the inconvenient detours the boy kept making Zoro take by getting lost.

"You're back," said Robin, smiling. Zoro pushed Luffy at her.

"The idiot didn't salute in authority training."

"Oh," said Robin before several kids ran out and tackled Zoro.

"Aniki!" the kids cried.

"Let go of me!"yelled Zoro, causing the kids to giggle at his attempts to pry free of them.

"But aniki…," the children whined, eyes in their eyes.

"I said get off!"

Mumbling, the kids let go, but not before one of the girls gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered a "welcome home, aniki." Then, as if nothing had occurred, the kids ran off to play again. Zoro refused to think about what lay ahead for the laughing children, how they would be forced into the jobs the government thought suited their class, how they would always be treated as the lowest of the low.

"Glad to see your back, Zoro-bro," said Franky. "What'd our strawbrain-bro do this time?"

"Apparently, he didn't salute during authority training," said Robin, grabbing Luffy before the boy ran off after the other children. The large scarcely-dressed man peered at Luffy over his sunglasses, causing the boy to stare back blank-eyed.

"Well, who was it?"

"Who was what?" asked Luffy.

"Who didn't you salute to?"

"Spandam," said Zoro, supplying the answer to keep Luffy from saying something that would get him in bigger problems.

"Spandam, huh?" said Franky, still staring over his sunglasses. His face suddenly morphed into a grin. "Good job, bro!"

"Quit encouraging him!" yelled Zoro.

"Guess what, Franky!" said Luffy loudly.

"What? Did Spandam turn bright purple?" asked Franky. Zoro grit his teeth and started to move away from the two idiots.

"I'm gonna take down the government!"

Zoro stopped mid-step and spun around so quickly, even he wasn't sure he had been facing the other way. A hard fist smacked Luffy's head to the ground.

"Owowowowowooow! That hurt, Zoro!" said Luffy pulling himself up out of the planks.

"Good. That should keep you from saying stupid things then," said Zoro, marching out of the room. He needed to get away and fast. Walking fast enough to confuse his gait for a run, the green-haired orphanage worker let his feet guide him to the one place he could get to without getting lost. As he neared the top of the hill, he saw the guardians of the graveyard, an orange haired shaman and her skeletal perverted spirit. He grunted, and somehow the woman interpreted the grunt as some sort of greeting.

"Well if it isn't my good friend Zoro. Visiting the graveyard again? It'll cost you, you know," she said cheerfully.

"I don't have time for you, stupid witch," mumbled Zoro, trying to stride past her, but she kept up with his pace.

"50 WGCs, cash only."

"Now, Nami-san, let Zoro-san through. He seems fairly distressed," said the skeletal spirit.

"Can it, Brook, or next time you ask to see a girl's underwear, you'll get more than a shock!"

"I said I don't have time," said Zoro, narrowing his eyes at the red head.

"Fine," she huffed. "I'll just add it to your tab and up the interest by 10. He's gotten winy anyway."

Finally, the annoying woman spun around and went back to the top of the hill where she seemed to be welcoming a new arrival. Zoro finally stopped before a wooden badly made cross.

"Zoro!" came a cry. Quickly, the familiar transparent figure of a boy about Luffy's age appeared. "I didn't think you were going to come for another week. That eager to hear about my conquest in the underworld?"

"Hmph," said Zoro as he plopped on the grass. "As if you've even seen the underworld…"

"I have! Several times in fact!" said the long nose ghost. "Did I tell you about the time I-"

"Luffy's going to get himself killed," said Zoro, cutting off the new but probably somewhat familiar story. Even though Usopp was still imaginative in death, they were always various variations of the same story. A story where Usopp would begin with himself as the hero, end up with two people stronger than him taking over that role, and the three of them winning against the world. A story that reality thwarted.

"Luffy?" asked Usopp. He cocked his head to the side, as he often did in life when something confused him. "This is one of your orphans."

"There not mine," said Zoro.

"Fine, fine," said Usopp in a placating tone he would never have used when they first met. "The orphans you're forced to take care of. He's one of them right? What'd he do, tick off Robin?"

"He wants to overthrow the government."

A strange silence followed. Zoro twitched uncomfortably. Usopp had never been this quiet for long, in life or death. Finally, the tan boy broke the silence.

"Do you think he can do it?"

"It's impossible," said Zoro, wishing he could grip something hard.

"We came close. Just the three of us," said Usopp. "We might have made it."

"You died."

"I died. But we might have made it. Do you think Luffy can make it?"

"No."

"He can if he's stronger than even me, the great Usopp!"

"You're strong."

"…Don't lie. That's my job. You and Kuina were the strong ones."

"You're strong," said Zoro, gritting his teeth and regretting his last words to the living version of the boy in front of him.

"I might have been. But Luffy's strong and he's alive. You know it, and so I know it. You think he can."

"…It's impossible."

"No, it's not. You can save her."

"She doesn't want to be saved."

"You can keep Luffy from dying."

"I couldn't keep you from dying. Besides, that idiot has his brother to do that."

"You can make a better future for your orphans."

"They're not my orphans."

"….you can avenge my death?"

"Who wants to avenge you?"

"Argh, I give up!" said Usopp, flapping his arms in obvious distress. The gesture caused a small smile to whisper across Zoro's lips. "I tell you to that I-can't-fight-the-government disease, and you drag me along with your stupid plan that isn't anything like a plan so I have to adjust it and then Kuina has to bop you on the head a couple of times to get you to go along with the adjustments and you still drag me even after I said I did enough! And now I can't even convince you to go do what you dragged me to do in the first place!"

"Fine."

"Why do I even tr-fine?"

"If you'll stop pestering me, I'll do it."

"Who's pestering who!?" cried the ghost. "You came to my grave, remember?"

"A ghost shouldn't be pestering the living," said Zoro.

"This is my grave! I can pester whoever I like! But since you're being so rude, I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back this time, so don't even bother looking for me, got that? The great Usopp has better things to do, like conquering the underworld. So don't come back!"

Zoro watched as the transparent boy turned and disappeared, but not before throwing a grin and one more thing over his shoulder.

"Of course, the great Usopp might appear for someone who's overthrown the world government."

Grinning, Zoro stood up and stretched. He began back up the hill and towards a stupid boy with stupid ideas. Now if only he could remember which way the orphanage was…

* * *

A/N In case you were wondering (because I'm certain you were), WGC stands for World Government Currency.


	7. Choosing Wisely

What if the strawhats were in the world of pokemon…

"Professor! I'm here to set off on my journey," said Usopp, a smug grin on his face. He had waited 10 years for this day.

"U-Usopp," the bespectacled man said startled, then suddenly he grinned eerily, making Usopp slowly back away towards the door. "I'm so glad to see you, Usopp. Starting your journey today, right."

"Yes," said Usopp cautiously. The professor had on many occasions literally thrown the long-nosed boy out of the laboratory. Like many others in town, the professor viewed Usopp as a nuisance to the town due to the boy's frequent pranks and orphan status. No one in town quite knew what to do with Usopp since his mother died. "I came for my pokedex."

"Yes, of course," said the professor still grinning. He handed Usopp a red and black device. "Here it is. And I'll even give you a pokemon to start you out."

"T-that's okay," said Usopp, nearly out the door by this point. "I caught one three days ago, so I'm good."

"Nonsense," said the professor, as he almost literally threw three pokeballs at the boy. "I have plenty of extra. In fact, I'll even give you all the ones I don't need."

"W-wait!" protested Usopp, but his cry went unheard as the doctor threw four more pokeballs into the mix.

"Consider that my apology for not being able to store any pokemon you send me," said the doctor from his doorway. The force with which he had thrown the balls had pushed Usopp out the door. "Good luck on your journey!"

"Wait a minute!" yelled Usopp at the slammed door. "You gave me more than six pokemon!"

A closing curtain was the only response to Usopp's protest. The boy stared at the window and then the door in confusion, but eventually he just shrugged and packed the seven new pokeballs in his pack. No use opening all seven at once.

A little while later Usopp noticed a strange rustle in the bushes on the side of the road. He stopped to stare, and suddenly a boy with a bug net jumped out.

"Our eyes met!" yelled the boy. "Now we have to fight!"

"Why?" asked Usopp.

"I already told you! Our eyes met!" yelled the boy as he threw a pokeball in the air. A weedle appeared out of it. Grinning despite the sudden declaration for a match, Usopp pulled out the pokeball that contained the only pokemon he knew.

"You picked the wrong trainer to mess with! I'm the great trainer, Usopp, the fifth of the elite four!"

"Stop your boasting and let's get started!" said the bug boy. Usopp felt obliging, so he threw his pokeball. His stantler pawed the ground dramamtically. The bug boy fell to the ground laughing. "W-where'd y-you f-f-find that thing?! I-it's pathetic!"

"What're you laughing at!? This is the super strong pygmy stantler from the wildest reaches of the world," said Usopp. The bug boy kept laughing and pointing at the super small stantler. Usopp tried not to think about how it was the only pokemon he had been able to catch after months of trying, and then only because the poor thing was near death at the time.

"A-and look a-at that nose! What kind of stantler has a blue nose!?"

"Forget him, Stantler. Tackle!" said Usopp. Unfortunately, the cloud of depression over the poor stantler didn't seem to allow the poor deer pokemon to move. Gritting his teeth, Usopp grabbed one of the pokeballs the professor had given him at random. "Pokeball go!"

Usopp's eyes grew wide as a red aipom suddenly lunged at his head. Usopp closed his eyes quickly and prepared for impact and was once again surprised by a gentle weight landing on his head. Peeking from behind his hands, the tan boy got an up-close look at the aipom as it blinked two centimeters away from his face. Somehow, its normally wide grin widened further. The large tail wrapped around Usopp's neck as the monkey pokemon swung around eagerly.

"Another weird but useless pokemon?" asked the bug boy. "Weedle, poison needle!"

"W-wait!" said Usopp as the needles headed straight for his head. The aipom's tail lashed out and deflected the needles, and then it stretched and punched the weedle into a tree.

"Weedle!" called the bug boy. He picked up his now knocked-out bug pokemon. "You cheated! No aipom can do that! I refuse to give you anything."

The bug boy turned and ran without paying Usopp his loser fee. The aipom jumped from Usopp's head and landed in front of the small stantler. The stantler stared at the aipom for a minute as the monkey pokemon chattered something, and then the deer pokemon started to dance happily. Usopp could only hope the rest of his pokemon were more normal.

Several battles later, Usopp wondered why he even bothered. The other pokemon were just as abnormal. The orange persian would use pay day _after_ knocking the other pokemon out and not let Usopp touch even one coin. The light green Scyther fought not only with its two scythes, but with one of its wings as well. The completely skeletal marowak used its bone club more like a sword on top of humming while fighting. The light blue machamp liked to make weird poses when it fought. The deep purple espeon could make replicas of its legs, ears, and tail appear anywhere. The hitmonlee would swoon if faced with a beautiful female, but only if she was _human_. And the strangest part of all was that the first time Usopp released one of them, the pokemon would make to attack him and then stop suddenly.

The only good thing that came out of the whole fiasco was that Usopp had yet to lose a battle, which was better than the tan boy could have hoped for. Maybe Usopp could make _him_ take notice. Maybe. But he still hadn't quite managed to get his pokemon to actually listen to him. For the most part, the pokemon won their battles by doing whatever the heck they wanted.

Usopp shrunk deeper into his blankets. The night was cold and stormy, and if Usopp were surer of his pokemon, he would have let them out and warm himself with their boy heat. As it was, he had let the small stantler out, but the small pokemon had wandered off somewhere. Usopp was sure it would come back when it got hungry, but until then, the boy had to focus on not freezing to death.

"Should we tell him?" a voice whispered on the wind. Usopp quickly squashed a squeak that nearly came out his mouth and buried deeper into the blanket.

"Sure. How's he going to help us if we don't ask?"

"It's not really his problem."

"But we're his nakama…"

"Not here. Here, we're his…his…"

"His pokemon. This certainly is an interesting para-dimensional dilemma."

"Par-o-ti-what?"

"Just forget it, Luffy. The question is will he help us? I mean, our Usopp usually freaks out about things, but somehow he manages to do them anyway, but this isn't really our Usopp, is it?"

"Usopp's Usopp!"

"It's not that simple!"

Unfortunately, the conversation seemed to be related to him in some way. Slowly, Usopp crawled out from under his blanket and headed towards the voices.

"Luffy-bro, Nami-sis has a point. We don't know what this Usopp will do."

"B-but, Franky, Luffy's right! Usopp's still Usopp. He'll help. I know he will. He already saved me once, remember?"

"Maybe…"

Peeking from behind a tree, he saw a group of strange people. They were all dressed really weirdly, and there was even a tiny furry something that wasn't any pokemon Usopp knew and a walking skeleton. Usopp shivered again and hoped against hope that these strangers were talking about another Usopp, because he didn't want the attention of these people.

"Looks like we don't have a choice."

"Why do you say that, Robin-chwan?"

"Because it appears we have a spy."

Arms sprouted from the tree hiding Usopp and pushed him out into the open. Usopp gulped as 8 pairs of eyes turned toward him.

"U-um…h-hi. I-I just happen to be on my way to-to Mt. Quena!" exclaimed Usopp. "I have been sent on a special mission to protect the pokemon who live there from the evil Giovanni by the Pokemon Master himself! I would not stand in my way!"

His speech didn't quite have reaction he wanted. The boy in the strawhat grinned a strangely familiar grin while the rest gave him equally exasperated and disbelieving looks.

"I told you," said the strawhat. "Usopp's Usopp."

"Fine. He's seen us like this anyway, so we might as well tell him."

"I'll be going then!" said Usopp, waving at them from the other side of the clearing. Unfortunately, the arms sprouted again and foiled his quick getaway.

"Hey Usopp," said the strawhat, nearly getting in the long-nosed boy's face. "You remember us."

"R-remember you? From where?"

"Well, I guess it'd be hard 'cause we do look a little different, but we're still the same."

"I have no clue who you are! Let me go!" he shouted, trying to wiggle out of the arms grasp.

"We're your nakama," said Luffy with a large grin.

"N-nakama?" asked Usopp. A heavy realization settled in his stomach. He was the Usopp they were talking about. He wiggled harder. "Leave me alone!"

"No," said Luffy. "You're our nakama."

"Let me handle this," said a tall blonde. He stepped forward, his empty fingers twitching near his mouth. "What the idiot means is that we're your nakama in another world."

"Stop lying and let me go!"

"We're not lying, mush-for-brains! That's your job! Now listen, 'cause I don't know how much time we've got before this storm blows over."

"At least ten more minutes," said the red head in a matter of fact tone.

"Thank you, Nami-swan!" said the blonde, and Usopp wondered for a moment where all the blonde's bones went. The blonde turned solid again as his gaze fell again on Usopp. "We need your help."

"My help," said Usopp, not trying to keep the skepticism out of his voice. "For what?"

"As soon as this storm passes," said the black-haired woman who was crossing her arms, "we will return to being your pokemon."

"M-my pokemon?!" exclaimed Usopp. He peered more closely at the group and quickly noticed the similarities. "B-but how?"

"Some grand moron decided to experiment using some sort of interdimensional enhancing system and somehow ended up dragging us out of our world and into this one while at the same time merging us into those stupid bodies. So we need your help to get us back, got it?"

"Wha…?"

"I think you may have overloaded him, Sanji-kun," said the skeleton. The blonde barely spared the skeleton a glance before locking eyes with Usopp again. Usopp shook his head.

"W-why would you need my help?"

"I thought I already told you that, moron."

"B-but…You guys are my pokemon, right?"

"Yes," said the blonde, his fingers twitching towards his mouth again.

"So you…you're sure you need _my_ help?"

"Yes, you moron! So are you going to help us or not?"

"Of course," said Usopp pounding his chest and noticing for the first time that the arms that had restrained him had disappeared. "The great pokemon ranger Usopp never turns down those in need of help!"

"Alright! That's great!" said the strawhat, throwing an arm around Usopp. The blonds rolled his eyes, but seemed to grin anyway. "'Cause it'd be hard to be Pirate King as a monkey mystery."


	8. Misplaced Apologies

What if Usopp was captured at Water Seven before apologizing to the Strawhats...

"He's in here," said the marine, opening the door. Tied to a chair, the long nosed pirate watched with wide eyes as the admiral entered. The poor fellow began to shake.

"So you caught one of them," said Aokiji.

"Yes, sir," said the marine. "We found him near the shore. He's not one of the ones with a bounty, sir, but I thought he might help us find the others."

"No bounty," said Aokiji. Sometimes the stupidity in the lower ranks almost amazed the admiral. It certainly never failed to amuse him. "And so he was not seen going with the strawhats to Enies Lobby."

"As far as we can tell, no, sir, he wasn't."

"Alright, I'll take care of the rest," said Aokiji. He turned his attention to the prisoner. A long time had passed since the admiral had had a chance to personally interrogate a prisoner, but orders were orders. At least this one looked interesting. Perhaps the strawhats had gotten farther under his skin than he thought. After all, they somehow kept Nico Robin from fleeing.

He analyzed the still-shaking young man. Unlike the low-ranking marine, the lack of a mask did not fool Aokiji. This prisoner was definitely the sniper who reportedly set the World Government flag on fire and accurately shot the marines on the Bridge of Hesitation from the top of a leaning Tower of Justice. The admiral vaguely remembered the sniper from his first encounter with the strawhats, not that the man had paid much attention to what had appeared to be the weakest member of the group. Aokiji could almost recall something about the young man and a quick escape. Maybe this pirate was the one who ran with Nico Robin after Strawhat Luffy kept Aokiji from shattering her that time…?

The young man had still not stopped shaking, but the wide eyes gazed at Aokiji rather resolutely. The admiral had seen the same look on too many men to fail to know what that look meant. No vital information on the strawhats would come from this source. Not that the admiral had felt too much hope for that possibility anyway after witnessing the loyalty the strawhats held between their crew. Thinking on that same loyalty, the admiral was more concerned about one thing. Aokiji wondered why he was as of yet not experiencing another siege.

"So why are you here?" The question startled the sniper enough to stop his shaking. Confusion filled the tan face, before the prisoner looked at his interrogator suspiciously.

"You captured me," the sniper said plainly, the words strangely clipped as if he was keeping himself from saying more.

"Yes, we captured you. But why aren't you with your crew?"

The brown eyes hid beneath a shadow for a moment before hiding over a wide smile.

"My crew of 8000 are planning my escape as we speak!" he proudly boasted. "You'll regret messing with Captain Usopp!"

"I'm sure we would have heard of a crew that large," said Aokiji, strangely amused by the obvious lie. The straw hats had some strange people. "Maybe I should rephrase my question. Why are the strawhat pirates not trying to rescue you?"

Indecision flickered on the boy's face as clearly as if it was painted there. Finally, the tan shoulders slumped, and the resolute eyes shined before looking downward.

"I-I'm n-not a strawhat…not...not anymore," the boy said at nearly a whisper. "I was going to make up with them, but…I didn't know what to say…and...a-and they're already gone….they left withou-they left…"

"That's unfortunate," said the admiral. Inwardly, Aokiji reaffirmed his earlier observation. They would get nothing out of this one. No marine interrogator can break what's already been broken. "I suppose you're of no use to us then."

* * *

"So he's useless."

"As a source of information for the strawhats, yes," said Aokiji. He fiddled with the receiver of the den den mushi as he chose his next words wisely. "But I believe he could be of service to us yet."

"How?"

"We could use his skills."

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

"His former loyalties have been severed…"

"And so new loyalties could be formed. I understand, admiral. Are his skills as good as his bounty suggests?"

"Fairly."

"I'll leave it to you then."

* * *

"Stand up, prisoner 1542," said the marine guard storming into Luffy's cell. "The vice-admiral wishes to speak with you."

Luffy lifted his head, his eyes blank. Squeezing in through the door, Garp entered the cell.

"Get that pathetic look off your face," said the old man. Luffy didn't react, and Garp almost gave in to the urge to give the boy his fist of love. But he had been given specific orders not to harm the prisoner. They wanted the pirate to be in top form for his execution the next day. If Akainu had his way, the boy would already be killed even before reaching the executor's platform.

Clenching his fist, Garp wondered where he had gone wrong with Luffy. Dragon's rebellion, in a way, Garp could understand. The vice-admiral had never given his son the attention Dragon deserved, but Luffy, on Luffy Garp had showered endless hours of attention and training. Training that the boy used to become a pirate, become enough of a threat that his superiors wanted Luffy out of the way. The boy could have at least used the training to stay out of this situation, darn it! But no, the boy had to use his training to try and free his "brother" from Impel Down, and then completely break as he watched Ace die in front of him.

Garp had heard stories. Had heard that since Luffy's crew had lost a member in Water 7, three more had been deathly wounded in the fog of the Florian Triangle, and that Kuma had finally completely split the already weakened crew. The vice-admiral knew that Ace, that Luffy not being able to stop his execution, had only been the last straw for his grandson. The boy had already been splintering inside.

On principle, Garp never ever let himself fall in debt to any person, but for his grandson he made an exception. Hopefully, the dangerous gamble would work.

"Hmph. You're hopeless. Why my two subordinates have been begging and trying to sneak in here, I don't know. Fortunately, they don't have access. However, one of Aokiji's subordinates does, as long as I came along to make sure he didn't try anything. So take that worthless look of your face and stand at attention," said Garp. His words caused no reaction again, and the old vice-admiral forced his gaze away from the useless lump that had temporarily replaced his grandson. He squeezed out of the cell and let the smaller figure enter. The long-nosed boy-nearly a man, just like his grandson- stepped almost in front of Luffy.

"Luffy." The one word caused Luffy's head to snap up and look straight into the other young man's face. The young man, who Aokiji had informed Garp was named Usopp, twitched but somehow managed to pull off a sickly looking smile. "Long time no see."

"U-Usopp," said Luffy, his eyes widening to an almost impossible size. Garp glanced at the scene before turning to glare at the marine guarding the door.

"V-vice a-admiral Garp?" squeaked the marine. Garp spared a moment of thought for where in the world the marine recruiters found this rabble before bellowing.

"Shut the door!"

"W-what? B-b-but sir…!"

"Are you questioning orders?!"

"N-no s-sir!" Immediately, the door was closed. The marine tried to straighten but still shook. "S-sir, i-isn't it u-unwise to l-let a f-former p-p-pirate t-talk p-privately w-with h-his c-captain."

"Of course," said Garp, his finger digging in his nose.

"B-but t-then w-why…?"

"'Cause Monkey D. Luffy may be one of the most wanted criminals in the world, but he's still my grandson."

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that," said Aokiji, surprising the marine guard, but doing no such thing to Garp.

"Huh? Why not?" asked Garp.

"Because I would rather not hear uncomfortable questions from headquarters," said Aokiji. He glanced at the closed door before looking back at the vice-admiral. "He's in there?"

"My stupid grandson reacted as soon as he saw him."

"Interesting. Should I just assume I'm going to lose my best sniper?"

"Ha! If you were worried about that, you should never have let me bring him here," said Garp.

"It wasn't against orders, and what my subordinates want to do with their free time isn't my responsibility," said Aokiji.

"Hahahaha! Aokiji, you are one interesting fellow!" bellowed Garp, almost covering the sound of a muffled explosion.

"W-w-what was that?" asked the trembling marine.

"What? You hear something?" Garp asked. The marine gave shaky nod. "You hear something, Aokiji?"

The admiral shrugged. "I doubt someone could hear a buffalo horn over your voice."

"M-maybe we s-should c-check the p-prisoner, s-sirs?"

"Why would we do that?" asked Garp.

"I-in c-case the n-noise c-c-came f-from the c-cell, s-s-sir…"

"I believe headquarters might have some new orders for me, so I will head that way," said Aokiji. "Try not to need any more favors."

Garp grunted. There were worse people to be in debt to than the tall lazy admiral. The fact didn't make the vice-admiral feel any better, but the empty cell with a large hole did. Garp grinned as he realized that his grandson would probably be the first prisoner to actually escape Impel Down.


End file.
